Day 8: Love is not jealous - "Love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire."— Song of Solomon 8:6 NIV
I've never thought of myself as being a jealous person; however, after reading today's lesson, I guess we all are jealous in some way. According to the Love Dare book, there are two forms of jealousy. Legitimate jealousy: jealousy FOR someone. Does your spouse spend too much time at the watching TV? Did s/he have an affair? Then, you are jealous FOR that person's time and affection. Illegitimate jealousy: jealousy OF someone. Did your spouse just get a big promotion and raise and now make more money than you? Then, you are jealous OF that person's belongings or success. Both types of jealousy are found in marriage as well as in other relationships. The key is to be able to find true joy in your spouse's joy and successes without being jealous. It goes back to the old phrase: "What's yours is mine and what's mine is yours." Matt and I truly follow this (except when it comes to the last Nutty Buddy in the freezer and then it's JUST MINE! - Just kidding, he can have it if he really wants it, but I'm going to sulk a little).
Day 8 Dare: Determine to become your spouse’s biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday’s list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.
Although it was easier to make the negative list, I still felt much relief yesterday when after making my two lists, my negative list was much shorter than my positive list. I'm looking forward to burning the negatives and really dwelling on the many, many, many positive characteristics of Matt. I have to say that I'm really good at truly being happy for Matt when he excels or succeeds at something. I can't imagine being jealous about that. I am however, jealous FOR Matt's time when he spends every Saturday at his parents' farm. It's something I'm constantly working on and trying not to dwell on as I know he loves to do it.
Lord, thank you for creating me as a person who deals well with jealousy. Help me to continue being able to control jealousy in my marriage as well as other relationships I have. Amen.
I know that I am a jealous person. I am not jealous of Luke's achievements, I rejoice in them. I am jealous of how he spends his time and affection. When we were dating, I had no problem with him coaching. When we got married and he left me at home 4 nights a week and all day on Saturday for someone else's kids, then I had a problem. He could never understand why I was so upset or why I didn't want him to do other things (guys night). I realize that it is because he didn't spend quality time with me when I needed it. I guess in return when he needed it, I didn't spend quality time with him. Playstation has always been an issue too. When I am ready to go to bed, and indicate I want some time with him, I feel like he should have dropped that control in a hurry and come back after I was asleep. Hard to compete with a PS2 control. One of his friends even remarked that maybe I should get some lingerie that looked like the controller so that he would spend time with me. Sad......
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