Want to Hear More?

I am so very sorry that I haven't updated my Love Dare blog. It's been so hectic this year with our family and some things have had to fall by the wayside. I completed the Love Dare some time ago and I will try to get the last 5 days posted soon. Have you enjoyed reading about my journey? Has it been encouraging, insightful, truthful and open? I hope so. I really poured my heart and soul into the blog in hopes of reassuring those that might be struggling. I would love to hear from some of you that have read my blog. Would you like to hear more? What would you like to hear? I'm not a marriage counselor by any means, but just a Christian woman who wants to love and honor my marriage as a tribute to God.

The Love Dare - Day 35

Day 35: Love is accountable – “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” Proverbs 15:22

Accountability is very important at work, at home, at church. To me, being held accountable for my actions causes me to think twice about the decisions I make or the words that I speak. It makes me want to do the right thing, the best thing. Accountability partners, someone who is in the same boat as us, can help us in so many ways in our lives. Ever try to lose weight by yourself? How about trying to trade stocks without the advice of a financial advisor? It’s more challenging without someone to pat you on the back when you’re successful, hold your hand when you didn’t do so well or give you advice from their experiences. The truth is we need to surround ourselves with like-minded mentors or accountability partners. To have a successful marriage, we must connect with other Christians. Others who want to succeed in marriage. Others that won’t abandon their spouse at the first sign of trouble. Others that desire to have a Godly marriage. Others that have the same happy times, difficulties, trials, and triumphs. Someone we can rely on to tell us the truth, good or bad.

Day 35 Dare: Find a marriage mentor – someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you. If you feel that counseling is needed, then take the first step to set up an appointment. During this process, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.

While Matt and I don’t need any counseling for our marriage, I have quietly been watching a couple who I think would be perfect mentors. They are a public couple and they love each other unconditionally. I watch how they act with each other, toward each other, when they aren’t with each other, etc. It’s amazing how they build each other up and constantly exalt God. I have never and I mean never heard either of them speak negatively of the other. What a great testament to having a God-centered marriage this couple has. At some point, I will ask the wife if she would mind being an accountability partner for me…if she will pray for me and remind me to keep God first and to never say a negative word to Matt.

Lord, you know this couple. You know me. You have put them in my life for a reason. Thank you. Amen.

The Love Dare - Day 34

Day 34: Love celebrates Godliness – “Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth.” 1 Corinthians 13:6

There are many occasions in our lives to celebrate. Birthdays, anniversaries, a promotion at work, straight A’s for the first time. Do we celebrate enough with our brothers and sisters in Christ when they act in obedience and follow God’s plan without looking back? Do we throw a party when someone accepts Christ? Or for me, the first time I actually prayed out loud in a group? That’s a reason to celebrate. It was a victory for me.

Day 34 Dare: Find a specific, recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way. Verbally commend them for this at some point today.

Matt’s life-long friend, B comes to our house once every couple of weeks to hang out, chit chat, etc. The “boys” usually sit outside (B smokes and we don’t, so they sit in the garage so it’s not in my house) and talk, laugh, relax, reminisce. B has been struggling lately with his relationship with his mother and Matt has been offering him some Christian advice on how to deal with the situation. B is also struggling financially, which is definitely right down Matt’s alley for giving advice as many of you may know. Matt told him about Angel Food Ministries, in which our church participates. B was very interested in buying the food at wholesale and told Matt he would like to order. So, we ordered on his behalf and PAID FOR IT. That is a Christian leap for Matt. I know it's only $30, but heck, he will squeeze a nickel until the buffalo chokes. Seriously. I was so proud of him. He didn't even bat an eye. I commended him several times for doing that for his friend.

Lord, thank you for allowing us to celebrate life. Help us to celebrate You always. Amen

The Love Dare - Day 33

Day 33: Love completes each other – “If two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?” Ecclesiastes 4:11

God created Eve to be Adam’s partner. He saw that Adam was alone and he did not like this. God designed us very differently, but males and females complement each other in many ways. Not just physically, but spiritually and emotionally, too. I don’t like to be alone. When Matt is away on business, I miss him. When we’re at work, I miss him. When I’m busy with the kids and he’s mowing the lawn, I miss him. That’s the way it should be in marriage. We are meant to be together to complete each other.

Day 33 Dare: Recognize that your spouse is integral to your future success. Let them know today that you desire to include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective and counsel. If you have ignored their input in the past, admit your oversight and ask them to forgive you.

I always include Matt in decisions I make. Not necessarily the little decisions like which brand of toothpaste to buy or whether or not to have mashed potatoes with supper…but the big decisions. Should we put new carpet or hardwood in the house? How much over our 10% can we tithe this month to help the church reach its budget? When do we need a new car? Those are biggies. Matt and I always make those decisions together. That doesn’t mean we don’t argue a little bit before we come to a decision, but ultimately the decision is made in unison. Together. Matt knows I always confer with him when making a decision larger than what color to paint the hallway.

Lord, thank You for giving me a husband that listens and values my input and opinions. Help us to come to You in prayer when in disagreement with each other.

The Love Dare - Day 32

Day 32: Love meets sexual needs – “The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will tempt you because of your lack of self-control." 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Well, I guess this could bring up the age-old battle of men and women, huh? There are so many jokes out there about men wanting to have sex all the time and the women never wanting it. I bet you are sitting on the edge of your seat to see if it’s that way with us, right? Sorry. That’s between me and Matt. But, I’ll put it this way…I have the occasional headache (wink, wink) and go to bed early. However, God designed us all differently. We all have sex drives that are very different. We should find somewhere in the middle and stick with it. That way, no one is disappointed.

Day 32 Dare: If at all possible, try to initiate sex with your husband or wife today. Do this in a way that honors what your spouse has told you (or implied to you) about what they need from you sexually. Ask God to make this enjoyable for both of you as well as a path to greater intimacy.

I’m sure you understand, but for our privacy, I’ll leave today’s dare this way…I completed it. That’s all you need to know.

Lord, please help me to be a Godly wife that fulfills all of my husband’s desires. Amen.

The Love Dare - Day 31

Day 31: Love and marriage - A man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24

Sometimes this is much, much easier said than done…especially if you marry young without having been on your own before marriage. It can be so difficult for a person to leave the parents who have provided so many things (emotional support, a roof overhead, food, etc.) and completely and totally cleave to the person he/she is marrying. We need to depend on our spouse for that support. How many times after first getting married did you want to call and “tattle-tale” on your spouse? Some people do that even after years of marriage. I have found that it gives me no satisfaction to degrade Matt, so I don’t. Plain and simple. God’s design for marriage is for us to be united together. Not dependent on our moms and dads.

Day 31 Dare: Is there a “leaving” issue you haven’t been brave enough to conquer yet? Confess it to your spouse today, and resolve to make it right. The oneness of your marriage is dependent upon it. Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and to God to make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship.

Fortunately, this has not been much of an issue in our marriage. Matt has always been able to provide for me in every way since getting married. Neither of us had ever lived away from our parents, so we are truly blessed that the leaving has not been one of our trials. I’ve never had to ask my parents for money, call them to say we didn’t have food in the cabinet, call them when my car needed repaired, etc. It is truly a blessing to us and I’m thankful to God that he has allowed Matt and I to be completely independent of our parents (although we love them and appreciate their offers of support) and dependent upon each other.

Lord, thank You for parents that love me enough to let me go. Thank You for a wonderful husband that loves me enough to accept me and take care of me. Thank You for designing marriage the way that you did. Amen.

So sorry...

I haven't forgotten about my Love Dare. Actually, I just had to postpone it for a few weeks because there were so many other things going on in our lives. I wanted to be able to dedicate myself 100% to the dare, so I thought it best to start from Day 30 (I have not given up the other concepts I have learned) and finish up the last 10 days. So, as I might not be able to post something every single day, I'm journaling in my Love Dare book and will post as soon as I can.

Today, I got home from work and Matt was on the phone. I heard him tell his buddy that he would talk to him later because I had just gotten home and he wanted to talk to me. I thought, "uh-oh...what have I done." He proceeded to tell me that while he was home today (he's been on vacation for a couple of days) he got on my blog to see the pictures I had put on there. Well guess what he found! You got it. He found the links to my Love Dare blog...and he read it. And he liked it. I was so glad to know that he wasn't angry with me for putting it out there for public consumption, but I explained that I hoped it inspired others. So, tomorrow is the day I'll start with Day 31 and finish the thing...or as Pastor Mark says, "land this plane." Stay tuned and hang in there for sporadic posting as I'm so busy at work, I don't always feel like getting on the computer when I get home in the evenings.