Day 8: Love is not jealous - "Love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire."— Song of Solomon 8:6 NIV
I've never thought of myself as being a jealous person; however, after reading today's lesson, I guess we all are jealous in some way. According to the Love Dare book, there are two forms of jealousy. Legitimate jealousy: jealousy FOR someone. Does your spouse spend too much time at the watching TV? Did s/he have an affair? Then, you are jealous FOR that person's time and affection. Illegitimate jealousy: jealousy OF someone. Did your spouse just get a big promotion and raise and now make more money than you? Then, you are jealous OF that person's belongings or success. Both types of jealousy are found in marriage as well as in other relationships. The key is to be able to find true joy in your spouse's joy and successes without being jealous. It goes back to the old phrase: "What's yours is mine and what's mine is yours." Matt and I truly follow this (except when it comes to the last Nutty Buddy in the freezer and then it's JUST MINE! - Just kidding, he can have it if he really wants it, but I'm going to sulk a little).
Day 8 Dare: Determine to become your spouse’s biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday’s list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.
Although it was easier to make the negative list, I still felt much relief yesterday when after making my two lists, my negative list was much shorter than my positive list. I'm looking forward to burning the negatives and really dwelling on the many, many, many positive characteristics of Matt. I have to say that I'm really good at truly being happy for Matt when he excels or succeeds at something. I can't imagine being jealous about that. I am however, jealous FOR Matt's time when he spends every Saturday at his parents' farm. It's something I'm constantly working on and trying not to dwell on as I know he loves to do it.
Lord, thank you for creating me as a person who deals well with jealousy. Help me to continue being able to control jealousy in my marriage as well as other relationships I have. Amen.
