The Love Dare - Day 27

Day 27: Love encourages - "Guard my soul and deliver me; do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You." - Psalm 25:20

We all have high expectations. It's natural that we want the best from our spouse, from our kids, from our employees, from our co-workers, from our friends, etc. Aren't we sorely disappointed when they fail to live up to our expectations? Of course. But, maybe we should step back and take a second look at our expectations. Are they too high? The higher the expectation, the more likely our spouse will disappoint us. They are human, remember. Just like us. How does it make your spouse feel when you tell him that he needs to make more money to support his family. Yes, he knows that you expect the best from him, but what if he's already trying his best? How can he give you better? If he's already giving his best and it's not meeting your expectations, maybe he's not the problem.

The solution is simple. Look at all the expectations you have of him and really decide what are realistic. Should our spouse really remember to pick up the dirty clothes, every single time? How easy is it to put the dirty shirt in the floor, hear the phone ring, run to grab it and forget to go back to pick up the shirt and put it in the hamper? Instead of criticizing, maybe we should just overlook something so trivial. In the whole scheme of life, are dirty clothes in the floor really that important? Or is is more important for you and your spouse to spend time together without the burden of unrealistic expectations hovering of your head.

Day 27 Dare: Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home. Think of one area where your spouse has told you you're expecting too much and tell them you're sorry for being so hard on them about it. Promise them you'll seek to understand, and assure them of your unconditional love.

I expect Matt to remember to take out the garbage. I expect him to remember that I have to go to the grocery store and won't be home at normal time after work. I expect him to understand when I don't feel well and to help me with the kids without my asking. I expect him to pick up his dirty clothes. I expect him to remember my birthday. That's a lot of expectations, isn't it? Guess what, Matt is human and can't be expected never to fail. I think a lot of my expectations are centered around helping me in the house, with the kids, etc. Recently, I've really tried to lay off of complaining about little things. Like for instance, the garbage wasn't taken out for a couple of days and it was piled pretty high. Almost so high stuff was falling out. Originally, I thought I would just leave it until he took it out. Then, I realized maybe he hadn't even noticed. He wasn't feeling well and maybe he hadn't even been over to where the garbage can sits. So, instead of nagging about it, I just smashed all the trash down, pulled the bag out and tied it up. Instead of huffing and puffing about it, I just did it. I know that doesn't seem like a big deal, but it could have been. It could have turned into a fight...easily. I released him of that expectation and then he didn't disappoint me. Hey, I live here too, right? I'm not better than taking out the trash.

Lord, I understand how You must feel when we disappoint You. Thank You for loving us enough to forgive us . Amen.